[Bad driving] school

If you were wondering why drivers sometimes make incredibly strange turns and entirely dangerous lane changes, or really any other stupid driving decision, you’re in luck, because after 2.6 years of research I have found the source of the issue. That source: the hallways of our nation’s high schools.

Despite signs on the stairs directing which side to go up on and which to go down on, people just walk in whatever place they feel is most convenient. If a person is walking with a group of friends, they generally form of blob of cluelessness; moving at a pace that would be considered slow by most snails and failing to notice any of the dozens of people stuck behind them.  If a person sees someone they know on the stairs or in a critical hallway junction, they immediately stop and wait for more people to show up, clogging the hallway more effectively than a strict 3 year diet of Egg McMuffins.

The battle for the driving skills of our young people is unfairly balanced. There’s no help from the bus drivers, who only manage to prove the age old saying “if my car is bigger than yours than you’d better move before I hit it”. There’s also certainly no help from watching one’s peers attempt to park, because at 8 in the morning the parking lot bears an uncanny resemblance to a 4-year-old’s birthday party at the bumper cars (a notable difference is the number of people throwing cake at each other, which is closer to zero). The only thing on the side of quality driving is drivers ed, but once that’s over most people resume speeding through the neighborhoods with reckless abandon, and while it’s in session a solid 93% of students aren’t listening.

So the next time you’re passed on the right at 70 mph in a 45 zone by a 40 year old driving a mustang, remember that it’s not his fault that he almost pushed you into an oncoming bus. It’s society, and our education system, and television (ok, maybe not television, but I was drawing on the list of common explanations that make sense only superficially). And then, once you have considered that, complain about his driving for the rest of the trip.

Anyway, have a nice day.

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